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Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or "POS-MENS" of GE products into your program. This year I'll be a page for a day and you'll be my boss. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. I am conducting a survey for the Ranford Group, and, uh, how old are you? This show is our chance to break the shackles cause the white dudes want to see us fail. P.s spend one day doing the job of one of our lowest level employees.
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C.: I've been going crazy the last few days thinking about our night together. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions. Please, we are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to do to black folks. Aw, let's see, that company running the bike tour in South Carolina says no singles. [glances at the priest] Have you ever made love to a woman, Father? Jack: I've spent the better part of the last 3 years developing a portable, miniature microwave oven. Wesley: [annoyed] It's insane that the actor Wesley Snipes has that name! If you saw a picture of him, and a picture of me, and you were asked "Who should be named *Wesley* *Snipes*?
On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor - generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! [shows Abby site with article headline "Abby Flynn Before She Was Abby Flynn" and a video of Abby Grossman]Abby Grossman: Oh my God. "I thought this box would be the perfect size for your head.
She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. Liz (on TV): My husband and I are absolutely so pleased to be underwriting the Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy High School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings. And when I confronted him about it, he was so condescending!
She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. But for lesser beings like curly-haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help. Jenna: Am I trying to instigate fights by throwing wine at people just to get on camera, and maybe also promote my new lifestyle website, Jennas-Side.com? I mean, is wine-throwing something that even gets you on a reality show? The lower classes are getting cranky about the rich earning all of their money away from them. How could we pay their salaries without using their money? By starting a fire and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I'm a hero, and then I'm in Playboy? He's not a page anymore, but he keeps trying to do my job for me.
We'll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries. By putting a TV actress into the movie world we can promote both. I almost let him choke to death right there on the football field. I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics. When the time came to do the hard thing and send it back into the forest where it belonged, and birds could perch on its shoulder because it was gentle, George Henderson summoned the strength and by God he did it! The same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Barack Obama, and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina. [spoken] And then all the kids say "Thanks, Meat Cat! There was only one way out, so fighting every natural instinct I have, I did the thing I hated the most. And when I came back to camp, I went to the person who cut my line and said, "Connie Chung, you did the right thing."Liz: Really - you want to exchange creative gifts?
Jenna: Second of all, if the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again?
“I trust you” is a better compliment than “I love you” because you may not always trust the one you love, but believe me, you can always love the person you trust for the rest of your life.3. But whatever happens, when our closeness is gone, I will never forget how you made me smile once in a while5.
You might find it easy to fall in love with someone, the hard thing is how to keep that someone forever. I had been believing that there is a paradise beyond the skies.
Dennis: [Reading from a letter] Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. But there’s a new thing called "women’s liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. Or, get me a time machine so I can go back and smack your mom for smoking crack while she was pregnant! I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it.