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But having a mental checklist of every characteristic a potential date should have might not entirely help.'We seek out the 6-foot-plus, Ivy League-educated business owner, and get disappointed when we realize they're a psychopath,' Bruneau pointed out.
'Instead of focusing on the boxes a date checks off, focus on how they make you feel.'To that end, Sussman recommends giving someone two or three dates before writing them off, because they might not have been in the best disposition the first time around.
From jumping the gun to taking rejection too seriously, it is easy to unknowingly sabotage what could have been a fun time or a more serious encounter by caring too much.
The experts' warnings also highlight how important self-confidence can be when it comes to dating, since managing one's own shortcomings will help defuse some serious awkwardness during the first few dates. Try to take away something from the process of the date, not the outcome.'And if you want to start dating, don't wait until the 'perfect' time to start.
But of course, if after a few encounters, the chemistry is just not there, don't hesitate to let them know you won't pursue the relationship further.
Giving someone a chance doesn't meant you should let unacceptable behavior fly under the radar.'It's okay to bring things up that concern you, like a date showing up a little late, or a date ordering a dish for you,' Sussman said.
'People make the mistake of thinking that they need to talk the entire time in order to sell themselves,' she told Buzz Feed.
'When really, dates will appreciate you more if you show interest in who they are and what they enjoy.
Rushing things is almost never a good idea when it comes to dating, and experts recommend pacing oneself instead. 'We mistakenly think we ought to lose 10 pounds, finish school, become more confident, get a job, or get over a past relationship before we enter the dating world,' Bruneau added.'But being OK with your imperfection is true confidence.
Thus, licensed relationship therapist Irina Firstein told Buzz Feed it is best to always assume the other person is keeping their options open and dating other people until a different agreement is made. If the answer is yes, hope to have another date, not a wedding.'In that spirit, Bruneau also urged single people to date multiple potential partners at a time, as long as things are still 'light'. There will probably always be another 10 pounds, a partially-healed heart, or an unfulfilled goal standing in your way.
But trying to appear flawless can actually work against you.'By trying to seem perfect, you're not being authentic, which isn't attractive,' Bruneau wrote.