Succumbing to the fantasy that the new relationship will be free of conflict or other emotional difficulties can be a setup for another failed relationship.We tend to repeat patterns over and over until we come to understand ourselves.

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If you deal with the disillusionment by betraying the commitment you have made, then you may not have the tools to navigate this stage which is waiting for you down the road in your new relationship.

Affair Relationships That Have a Better Chance of Success If, however, your primary relationship/marriage was somehow “wrong” from the beginning; if one or both of you weren’t in love, if it was a marriage of convenience, or if it has been mostly miserable or abusive, if it was simply to escape loneliness or have children, that is a different story.

Rebound and affair relationships frequently have rescue fantasies attached to them, these fantasies can be overpowering and cloud your vision.

Sometimes relationships that start as affairs serve as an escape from difficult interpersonal dynamics in the primary relationship.

You face going from the bliss of secrecy into a tailspin of conflict with many people at once.

Of course, you face this once the affair is disclosed, no matter who you end up with, but it is less awful if you are attempting to repair the damage with your primary partner.

Can the two of you exist in a relatively socially isolated situation for some time?

Losing a long-term partner, even if things feel bad, is still a loss and needs to be grieved.

New lovers vary on how willing and able they are to cope with your grief over losing your partner.