“They’re still getting over their ex,” “they just need more time,” or (ugh) “they’re scared of commitment,” but the fact is when someone meets the right person, they can’t propose marriage, or a joint rental agreement quick enough.

just dating or girlfriend-79just dating or girlfriend-2

But if you’re not seeing anyone else, and you’re seeing a lot of each other what on earth is it if it’s not a relationship?

One friend (who wishes to remain anonymous lest her non-boyfriend reads this) explains: “I’ve been seeing this guy for four months now – we’re dating and see each other a couple of times a week.

I always have to be really pushed into making it more serious – but that’s just the way I am, it’s nothing personal.” I’m not sure I buy this – how would his (lucky, lucky) girlfriend feel if she heard him saying, outright, that he hadn’t been too fussed about her when they got together, and that they’re only together now because of her tenacity?

The thing is, you can make any excuse you like when you really fancy, or even love someone.

I don’t want to come across as some relationship-obsessed harpy and I’m sure once we’ve been seeing each other for long enough he’ll come round – we’re in a relationship in all but name anyway.” I slightly want to bang my head against the keyboard now, not least because I’ve said the same thing more than once in the past.

I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.

That’s like being awarded a relationship through squatter’s rights.

And if you land a boyfriend that way and then ‘win’ (and by ‘win,’ I mean you get the ultimate prize – marriage) then can you ever really relax, knowing they were so blasé about you when you first met that it took them six months, nine months, a year to refer to you as their girlfriend?

It can be with whoever you want and you can go bowling, out to dinner, go see a movie, etc.