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They got a copy of Opening Up---canon reading for people new to polyamory---and jumped right in, starting with small steps.
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After his first date with someone else, she remembers, "I was super excited." When he came home that night to tell her about his evening, "it was like, girl talk!
" It's only been six months, but Amy says the experience has forced her to confront her own jealousy and insecurity: "It's been liberating and terrifying at the same time." Amy and Robert aren't alone.
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Fortunately, she's got a pretty amazing boyfriend to help her get through it. "He rubs my back when I'm sad." Amy and Robert won't be using their real names for this profile: the couple is open about its status with many people, but not quite ready to be out as polyamorous in print.
Robert isn't in right now---he's on a date with a new lady-friend.
When the two were monogamous, she remembers, they didn't even talk about other people who they found attractive.
Now she feels like Robert is an even closer friend.
So now they only have two rules: "Don't have sex with someone for the first time before hanging out with me and telling me about them, and don't sleep over without letting me know." The hard part about being poly, Amy says, isn't her boyfriend---it's the way her friends react. "They immediately assume that Robert has pressured me...because he wants to fuck other girls." But that doesn't mean they have any intention of stopping.