It was like i’d crossed a threshold, stepped over an important line.

And unfortunately, having crossed that line, i haven’t looked back and have used the card numerous times since. You promise yourself for a long time that you won’t cross a certain line, but then you do, and it becomes easy to repeat that sin again.

I deleted the porn saved on my PC and he tells me he did the same.

You don’t realize the self-loathing, and hatred a brother has for himself in his day to day life when he remembers what he does when no one is watching but Allah. Before i begin, let me say that in this story of my own descent into sin, i blame no one but myself. I am a brother between 25 and 30 with my own family who i love very much and I’ve been practising for many years. I don’t want to go into the details, but soon after i was introduced to pornography, i was hooked on it.

I will deliberately be vague in some of what i say so that no one finds out who i am. What fanned the flames of desire was access to the internet.

He was a famous worshiper from Bani Israeel, who was led astray step by step by Shaitaan until his last action was to leave the religion.

In some ways, my own story over the past 10 years mirrors that.

My addiction began as something small, but step by step over 10 years, it has transformed into something which is at times uncontrollable.

The first time i used a credit card on a porn site was after several years of being addicted to porn.

The previous post on “The Secret Life of Husbands“, part of MM’s “Sex & the Muslim Ummah” series, was sort of a milestone post.

It elicited powerful responses, and led to some of the most beneficial discussions on MM.

But I’m certainly with those who are unhappy and want out as opposed to those who just don’t give a damn. I personally think that it is nigh-on impossible to give it up here in the West once you’re addicted because sex and pretty women are all around you, on the TV, in the streets, at work – everywhere. If you can make a quiet du’a for Allah to switch off my addiction just as quickly as the light goes off when you flick the switch i would be most grateful.