I had no idea how little the level of English would be in Barranquilla. I really have no good explanation as to why it is so much work, but keeping in constant touch throughout the interaction was how I had the most success.

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There’s something to be said for being forced to communicate with body language and touch . The best advice I can give is to simply be wary of Colombian women that do speak English, as there’s a decent chance they’re just meeting you to have a free drink and practice their English, with no intention of any sexual relations. My Colombian girl made the equivalent of ~$22 a day for an eight hour shift (70mil Colombian Peso [COP]).

You can get a free trial of a great language tool—Rocket Spanish. It was a 20mil round trip taxi between her house and my apartment. They all know how to dance, and are very comfortable with human touch. Don’t hesitate to make fun of yourself or your poor Spanish.

She was very into me from the start – we simply sat on the bed, drank wine, and talked on Google Translate. I ended up seeing her several more times throughout the week and she came up to Santa Marta to spend a day at the beach with us. Met off Tinder, and then told me she just wanted to meet people and talk. She and her cousin were staying at a nice resort a ten minute cab ride away from our apartment in Santa Marta.

I kicked her out after about 45 minutes, and she had the gall to ask for a taxi, too. So we all rolled over there…but they were just boring as hell.

To excel in the world of romance, you’ll need to be able to speak reasonably.

In the world of Colombian dating, bad Spanish does not serve as much of an aphrodisiac.

I don’t know if this blog will ever be enough to make a full living on the Internet, but I have to get back to Colombia and the amazing Colombian girls. Let me know what you think I should do about Girl #1 in regards to tip #8.

Often has it been said that the best way to improve in a foreign tongue is to start dating a local. Even students who, in the classroom, can barely be bothered to string together a coherent sentence, suddenly have boundless enthusiasm for improving their language skills as soon as they chat to a guy or girl they like.

Some Colombian women are looking for a better life. Most likely she will never get to experience something like coming to the States, and if I get something out of it, great. Colombian women are beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and have a contagious energy that just rubs off on you.

I am currently torn on whether to let this girl visit me here in Los Angeles. The amount of happiness I seem to feel every time I’m abroad is indescribable.

It would be so formal that it’d actually sound a bit weird.